No Lesson Today

It's Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), and it's time for me to blog. I was going to blog about knitting, but right now my shoulder and back hurt too much to do that much typing. So in the tradition of my middle school with its Channel One televisions, I'll be showing you a video instead. Enjoy.

I didn't know Kanye West was a knitter?

Apparently Kanye West is a knitter. Check out this excerpt from his blog:

I'M SOOOOO SORRY TO MEG SWANSEN AND CAT BORDHI FOR KNITTING THE YARN. I SPOKE TO CAT BORDHI RIGHT AFTER. MEG SWANSEN IS VERY TANGLED !!........... I'M IN THE WRONG FOR SPINNING AND CROCHETING!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT RAVELRY. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO MEG SWANSEN 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I'M A FAN OF SHEEP!!! Y'ALL KNOW!!! BOOOOYAAAWWWWW!!!!!! YEAH I GAVE MY KNITTING NEEDLES TO STEPHANIE PEARL_MCPHEE WHEN THEY DESERVED IT... THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT CRAZY YALL, I'M JUST BEING REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!!MUCH RESPECT!!!!!

9/26/09

(Special thanks to the Kanye West Apology Generator.

If you don't get the joke, this should help explain it.)

Hibbert Moneymaking Organization

After some surfing, I finally found it. Here's a clip from an episode of "The Simpsons" that reminds me of the last few months of doctor appointments. Except in my world, no one is ever under the same roof.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

I got some good news from Norma today. Apparently, I won three of her P-Mates. Yay!

A P-Mate is basically a little paper tube that lets you pee standing up. The official website is here, and there is a good review here.

In my comment, I said I'd try it out as a "feminist experiment." Now that I've actually won, I'm wondering if Mom will let me use the backyard...

Nah. I'll probably wait until I go swimming. Getting off a wet suit is hard enough, and putting one back on in a cramped bathroom is even worse.

This reminds me of a band competition in high school. I think I was the only girl in the drumline battery at the time. We were all in uniform, getting ready to warm up at the playground of my old elementary school. (It was next door to the stadium.) Someone asked the instructor about using the bathroom. He said yes, and most of the boys ran off.

I remember being jealous because the boys didn't have to work so hard to pee. (The uniforms had suspenders, so you had to take off your coat before you could take off your pants.) Then I realized something.

The school building was locked.

Yup. They had just some bushes and gone for it. One person said he peed on the hopscotch. To this day, I don't know if he was teasing me, or if he really defiled the hopscotch at my elementary school.

That's the only penis envy I've ever experienced. If I had had P-Mates that day, I would have showed them.

In other news, I have stuff posted on eBay. I'm selling Two Furby Happy Meal Toys, a Miss Piggy Pez Dispenser, a Pound Puppy and my Zune. My poor, non-Mac compatible Zune. Why not bid. Then you can be a winner too.

xkcd gets it right again

I had to share this comic from xkcd before I went (back) to sleep.

Yes, I am still having this dream. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

The Knitwitz

A documentary about knitting addiction. These guys aren't very experienced. Obviously, that angora has been cut with something, probably acrylic.

It's a beret!

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Meh.

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Meh. That's about all I have to say tonight. My job is the biggest source of stress in my life right now.

I think I'll go to bed early.

*sulk*

What kind of day did you have?

I'm the OmNomNom Nom of the day!

I'm the OmNomNomNom of the day! Check it out.

How do you get to llama school?

Break

Some things have come up, so I'll be taking a break from the blog for a while. I should be back in a few days.

Until then...


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A Twist On The Magic Ball?

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How many managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: I think that question is best directed to my supervisor...

A while back I talked about outsourcing. Tonight, I feel like talking about managers. Just sheer number of them.

I talked to a lot of managers today, in addition to my day to day supervisors. And after being introduced to all these people, I still don't know who is really in charge. Duties are divided up by regions, by products, by customer size, days of the week, phases of the moon, zodiac and favorite color. Then there are hierarchies within all these categories. I think I had to copy three different managers I'd never met in person on an e-mail from some other manager I'd never met in person.

There's so many managers, it's amazing we get any work done. (Nyuk nyuk nyuk.)

And being Halloween, we didn't mind all the managers today. There was way too much candy floating around, and several people dressed up. I didn't manage to get a costumer together, but I did pull out my Brain Slug from two years ago. It was a real hit with the people who'd seen Futurama.

(This is this best brain slug clip I could find:)



Happy Halloween!

John McCain and the Gas Crisis

Call me old fashioned...

...but this is why I believe in no sweaters before marriage.

Coloring Ain't Easy

I spent all day helping friends paint their soon-to-be home. It was hard work, but at least I don't have this guy's job.

Corn that Tastes Like Candy

I've been in kind of a funk the last few days. But I'm feeling a little better now, because I have corn that tastes like candy. (Not to be confused with the candy that tastes like corn I bought in Chinatown.

We started talking about Candy Corn at work today. So I picked up a bag. Actually, I bought two bags. I'm going to share the second with my co-workers.

I finally feel like fall is here. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the energy for a better quality blog entry.

Mom! The pizzas are looking at me!

I notice that a lot of knit bloggers spend some time on their cooking. I typically don't, because I avoid cooking altogether.

So when I made English muffin pizzas last night, I decided it was time to snap a picture or two. I learned to make these in a kids cooking class I took one summer when I was little. Basically, you cut the English muffins in half, spread on some pizza or spaghetti sauce, put some mozzarella on top, and stick them in the oven until the cheese melts and the English muffin gets crispy.

I decided to class it up with some shredded Parmesan and black olives. I used whole olives because they were cheaper than the sliced ones.

I just finished putting on the olives when I noticed something.

The pizzas were looking at me!

I tried baking them, but when I took them out they were still staring at me.

I put a few on a plate. I told them they better quit staring at me...

...but they didn't listen.

(Hey, don't look at me. Someone had to teach them a lesson.)

Grocery Ennui

I toyed with calling this entry "Grocery Rage," but that's not really accurate. But neither is "Grocery Ennui." I think it should really be "Grocery Irritation," but that's not a very good title.

You can see by my freezer that I just came from HEB. I wish I had a bigger freezer. I'd buy more frozen pizza. I'd buy more frozen everything. Somehow it always fits. (And I just took out a frozen pizza to eat for dinner, so I have a little more room now.)

Frozen food is good.

A lot of non-knitters comment that they don't have the patience to knit. I don't have the patience not to knit. And spending two hours driving to HEB, shopping, comparison shopping, standing in line, loading my car, driving home, waiting for the gate to my apartment to come unstuck and putting away the groceries is something that really tries my patience sometimes. I actually should have gone this weekend. I'm trying to go once every two weeks after I get paid, and not eat out. Of course, that much shopping takes more time.

I noticed a couple of things on my shopping trip.

First, I think long trips to the grocery store bring out the worst in kids. I think I saw everything from crying babies to an older boy, probably 13 or 14, who insisted on punching the food in the pasta aisle. (I was especially annoyed when he punched the spaghetti I was about to pick up.)

Next, is Tuesday night the night before they restock the shelves or something? They seemed to be out of everything.

We got a new vending machine at work. In this machine are the tempting but expensive Oreo Cakesters. I've been wanting one, but a package of 3 costs one dollar. I promised myself if I skipped the vending machine, I'd buy some cheaper at HEB.

But once I made it to the cookie isle, there were no cakesters to be found. At least no Oreo Cakesters. There were "Nilla Cakesters" that I did end up buying. They look good, but not as good as the Oreos.

Also, when I was younger, my Dad would occasionally quiz me on which product was less expensive per unit (per ounce, per serving, etc.) When I gave him the answer, he would ask how I got it, and I would point to the unit price on the label and say "It's right here."

Back then, I don't remember the unit price on the labels being so screwed up. One brand of toilet paper lists the unit price per sheet, another lists it per roll. I even found a unit price for Q-Tips that was zero cents. Seriously.

At least I have my pizza, but that brings up another issue.

This isn't a self cleaning oven, is it?

I'm renting, so it's not like I have a manual for this thing. Wouldn't there be a button for it? I think the smoke alarm keeps going off because there is burnt cheese from previous frozen pizzas. I guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way. The way that will probably try my patience.

Or I can just get used to the smoke alarm.