Friday, April 10, 2009

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

I got some good news from Norma today. Apparently, I won three of her P-Mates. Yay!

A P-Mate is basically a little paper tube that lets you pee standing up. The official website is here, and there is a good review here.

In my comment, I said I'd try it out as a "feminist experiment." Now that I've actually won, I'm wondering if Mom will let me use the backyard...

Nah. I'll probably wait until I go swimming. Getting off a wet suit is hard enough, and putting one back on in a cramped bathroom is even worse.

This reminds me of a band competition in high school. I think I was the only girl in the drumline battery at the time. We were all in uniform, getting ready to warm up at the playground of my old elementary school. (It was next door to the stadium.) Someone asked the instructor about using the bathroom. He said yes, and most of the boys ran off.

I remember being jealous because the boys didn't have to work so hard to pee. (The uniforms had suspenders, so you had to take off your coat before you could take off your pants.) Then I realized something.

The school building was locked.

Yup. They had just some bushes and gone for it. One person said he peed on the hopscotch. To this day, I don't know if he was teasing me, or if he really defiled the hopscotch at my elementary school.

That's the only penis envy I've ever experienced. If I had had P-Mates that day, I would have showed them.

In other news, I have stuff posted on eBay. I'm selling Two Furby Happy Meal Toys, a Miss Piggy Pez Dispenser, a Pound Puppy and my Zune. My poor, non-Mac compatible Zune. Why not bid. Then you can be a winner too.

2 comments:

Lyndsey said...

you can just pull the crotch of your suit to the side, rather than shedding the whole thing. Then pee sort of to the side. It's a trick I learned from synchronized swimming and speed swimming teams.

Julian said...

Tremendous! I have the incredible urge to put my mouth up to one end and go "RIIIICOLAAAAAA!"